In lieu of a proper blog post, here is a theory or rule I have been developing.

As all right-thinking people know, all BMWs are driven by wankers.

The BMW M5 and M3 are BMW 5-series and 3-series which have been tweaked and made all sporty: they are a special kind of BMW. It therefore stands to reason that they are driven by a special kind of wanker.

By the same token, the BMW X5 is a 4-wheel-drive SUV kind of BMW. The ‘X’, I think, stands for ‘Xtreme’. Therefore, it’s a pretty good bet that if you see a BMW X5, it is being driven by an extreme wanker.

That is the sum total of my theory, and I am sorry to have wasted your time.

Disclosure: I know, or am related to, people that drive BMWs. Sorry, you know how it is. But I’m sure they would agree with the X5 theory.