Review Of A New Spork

Inspired by this post, guest drivel-merchant Katy hereby reviews a spork…

I’m actually road testing a spork right now! It’s what Marks & Spencers have switched to instead of the razor sharp fork they previously offered. And here is my review (used with Chicken & Mushroom Risotto)…

Admittedly it looks really cool, and would do well on the forth plinth in Trafalgar square, but as a utensil, it’s frankly rubbish.

Ok, so it picks up rice ok, but it’s too bowl shaped to get your mouth around it enough to eat it all. You end up talking the spork out of your mouth again with lots still on it (or in it) like you get when you feed a reluctant baby with baby food. Nobody wants to see that with someone my age. I suppose you could lick it off with your tongue like a lolly, but despite sounding fun, is again not pretty.

It also does that weird thing with your mouth like when you eat cereal with a soup spoon because you can’t be bothered to wash up and it’s all you have left. And as for picking up chunks of chicken – forget it. The prongs are too stubby. You can poke at it but you can’t pick it up. Instead you are forced to balance it on the lip of the spork ‘bowl’ and attempt to hold it there as it makes the journey to your mouth. You can imagine the calamity that frequently ensues.

So I’m sorry Sporky, much as I am not against mutant utensils, indeed I find the cork screw / bottle openers (or scrootle opener perhaps) most pleasing, I don’t think I’ll be consigning Spoony or Forky to the museum just yet.

Maybe spoons and forks are a metaphor for life after all – Be an individual – you work better that way.

So there you have it. Marks and Spencer are continuing to follow their own self-destructive course, emulating the BBC in their ideology, “If it ain’t broke, let’s break it”.