It appears it’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day so here goes…

“This cabin-boy’s grown haggard
so in the pot he goes.
And from his skin we’ll make a little drum
to beat as we fire human heads
from cannon at our foes,
and set the seas ablaze with burning rum.”

“I tread a lurching timber world
a reeking salt-caked hell.
But then perhaps, no worse a world than yours
where Bishops stroll through charnel yards
with pomanders to smell
where vile men thrive
and love crawls on all fours.”

Me hearties.