My mind drifted to how Roast Beef in Achewood, my favorite webcomic, reacted to the whole marriage thing. Here are some classic moments in the Getting Married story arc, and how I’m applying their “wisdom” to my own situation.
|He tried to save money on invitations while trying to register for antidepressants||Have you seen the price of this stuff? I hate that the first entry is complaining about money, but damn. I mean, I love letterpress stuff, and designy typography stuff, but wowzer.|
|His friends arranged an ugly stripper, so that he wouldn’t miss his freedom||Well, we can skip this one. I would like to think my friends are aware of my thoughts about strippers and men’s clubs and the like.|
|He started his own wedding magazine as a reaction to the Capitalist Nightmare that is the wedding industry||The glossy magazines are certainly full of questionable taste, but I don’t know how long a wedding fanzine would last. There are “alternative wedding” blogs, which have some pretty cool ideas, but I like simple and classic as well. Flowers on every surface, and on the bows on the chair covers, are in the “Not In Any Way Necessary Or Desirable” column in the file.
Oh yes, we have a file.
|featuring some etiquette tips, including how to react to people who ignore your registry||Important stuff, especially when the couple getting married have been setting up home together for quite a while. This ain’t no bottom drawer/hope chest situation.|
|He had his friends give him some excellent advice about vows and growing old together||I wish I had a local with a barman like that.|
|Another “friend” advised him to get a pre-nup agreement||Seeing as I’m an alien in California, I’m basically screwed anyway, so a pre-nup is just viciously expensive parrot-cage lining – and we don’t have a parrot.|
|His friends and family got concerned about the low expectations displayed by the gifts on the registry||We shall have to make sure that does not happen. Registry info will be distributed soon, and we sure as hell won’t be under-asking.|
|He had terrible dreams about not being worthy||Who hasn’t dreamed that he was part of a sick experiment to create the most powerful failing machine ever imagined? I’m not at this stage yet, but I remember when I first got together with Cassie, and sometimes had these doubts about whether she was serious. As in, “You want to be with me? Are you serious?”|
|His brother was a terrible person…||My brother is not quite as bad as this…|
|…and had to be dealt with||…but we’ll see. Bringing him over to the big city and the bright lights may be a little too much. Action may have to be taken.|
That’s where we are for now. As the preparations continue and the big day approaches, some more droll comparisons may be drawn. I know, I just know, you can’t wait.