Monthly Archives: April 2009

Rescued Geocities ‘Fry and Laurie’ Scripts

Taking a cue from Phil Gyford, I decided to take a punt on mirroring this Geocities site of out-of-print scripts from A Bit Of Fry And Laurie here. The previous link may well be dead soon, because Yahoo!, the owners of Geocities, will soon be shutting the place down.

The script site was last updated in 2000, so I think it’s safe to say that it is dormant. Of course, the copyright holders may have something to say, but they haven’t up til now. If there is a problem, please contact me and I will honour any takedown requests

I grabbed the site using this Windows version of that amazing web-grabbing tool wget, and it’s all there, warts and all. Some image links are dead, some URLs lead nowhere. Should I fix them, or leave them as they were?

I chose this site to rescue because I’ve always been a huge fan of Messrs Fry and Laurie, from their early days popping up on Blackadder (II onwards), Saturday Live, Happy Families, and so forth, and their bibliographies are pretty darn cool too. Being a British man living in California, I find it amusing to watch the sickeningly multi-talented Mr Laurie on House, and of course Mr Fry continues to be a true modern geek renaissance man. Heroes both.

Anyway, here it is, if I can get it to work.

Snoopy Home Button

The Same But Different, UK-US Differences Part 3

US UK
Blanket duvet / quilt
Quilt thin quilted cover with design on it like they used to make.
Sheet Sheet
Sherbet Sorbet
Fizzy sweet powder Sherbet
Comforter thin duvet
Flan Creme Caramel pudding like what used to make me cat up when I was a kid.
Pudding Blancmange
Dessert Pudding

Spring Tunes – A Musical Post Under Welcome Duress

Fleshisgrass says

List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now, shaping your spring. Post these instructions in your blog along with your 7 songs. Then tag 7 other people to see what they’re listening to.

I’ve delved into the past as well. There’d be more recent tracks, but my iPod is in the car. Maybe I’ll do a followup post – hahhahhahahahahhahhaa! I crack myself up, I really do. Here we go:

Oahu by the 6ths – I actually listened to the entire beautiful shimmering fadeout thing on the drive home the other day. Most relaxing, which is probably not the best thing to be when you’re driving home at 10pm on Sunday.

Satellites by Parts & Labor – Very nice, and is it really trying to sound like a ZX Spectrum loading at the beginning?

Acid Again by Meat Beat Manifesto – After a conversation between Cassie and my landlady/Cassie’s college friend Rimah.

C**ts Are Still Running The World by Purves Grundy Jarvis Cocker – The final hidden track off his first solo album, and great for yelling along in the car. Cynical in the hopeful light of a new administration, but also very true.

Water From A Vine Leaf by William Orbit and Beth Orton – I like Billy O’s distinctive signature bloopy resonant effects, and her vocals ain’t bad either.

My Personal Life by John S Hall and Kramer – “… like an anger disease”. Funny stuff. Recently re-obtained after being trapped on vinyl.

Sensoria by Cabaret Voltaire – with a back catalogue and drums like this, you can almost forgive them for Keep On and working with Ten City.

My taggéd victims:

The Lyrics To Alexei Sayle’s Hit Single, ‘Ullo John! Got A New Motor?

Couldn’t find these anywhere, and you all know what a bloody minefield searching for lyrics is, so here you go, I transcribed them for you. They’re written in normal English, you can translate into Cockney on the fly in your heads. Cheers.

Incidentally, I tried to do this transcription once in 1982, from a cassette I’d made off the Top 40 on Radio 1 on Sunday evening (on my brother’s Rotel, if memory serves). The recording was fine, and it had the usual snippet of the DJ after the song ended, “straight in at-” *clunk*, but I was unfamiliar with many of concepts discussed, such as “light and bitter”, Bermondsey, and “special hospitals. This lack of knowledge on my part meant a combination of those three in 1992 caused questions to be asked in Parliament. How was I to know?

Alexei Sayle – Ullo John! Gotta New Motor?

Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Your goat's made a mess of the carpet (x2)
He lost his bottle in Barnsley (x2)
He's an Avon Representative (x2)

Ullo John! Gotta new motor? (x4)
Hahahahahahahaha motor, motor, motor, motor...

Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
They put me in a special hospital (x2)
Is there life on Mars? (x2)
Is there life in Peckham? (x2)
What's that switch over there for? (x2)
Ah ah ah ah ow...ah ah ah ah ow

Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
He can't half play the bongos (x2)
He's got a record by Billy Joel (x2)
Them locks are easy (x2)
Here's my calling card WALLOP (x2)
That's a piece of balsa (x2)
You can make a model out of that (x2)
He stuck his head in a dustbin (x2)
And then ran through the launderette (x2)

Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
'Ere John do you like the suit here, eh eh it's a lovely suit innit?
'Ere wanna brown ale? (x2)
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Mine's a light and bitter (x2)

Ullo John! Gotta new mot-AH ... AH ... AH
He works on the Thames Barrier (x2)
I keep tropical fish (x2)
In me underpants (x2)

Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
He walks around with a hat on (x2)

(Spoken) Oh yeah our Rodney yeah, he's the intelligent one
He's in the police force
Very bright he is
Been to Miami? Lovely...Miami
Package tour in Miami
You can't get a light and bitter
You can't get a light and bitter in Miami though
You can get one in Bermondsey though!
That's a nice sound as well, Bermondsey
You can get a light and bitter, and it sounds nice
Light and bitter, that sounds nice, I'd like a light and bitter
Oh cheers thanks a lot
Oh nice one yeah
Alright what you having? What you having eh?
Pina Colada?
Lovely, here you must be sophisticated

Ullo-Ullo-Ullo-Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Ullo John! Gotta new motor?
Your goat's made a mess of the carpet (x2)
Ullo John! Gotta new motor? (x5)

(Spoken) Here that's a nice three piece suite
I like your music centre
Here got any Demis Roussos?
Oo I like him, Barry Manilow,
I think he's triffic
Oh I love him, I love Barry Manilow,
I go all weak, when I hear Barry Manilow I go all weak