This post was written on March 26 2008 while trying to doze off on allergy pills. Warning – contains introspection, fractured sentences and fear.
This is being written on my EeePC while listening to the new Sigur Ros CD in the in-flight system over the coast of Greenland, approaching Godthab. I’m in a Boeing 747-400, in seat 51B, I have my earphones in, but they don’t block out the baby crying.
I’m flying to Los Angeles to visit Cassie. It was nearly a year ago that I flew to see her the first time. In fact it was exactly a year ago.
Turbulence is a bit rough, and the guy in 51C can’t write in his logic puzzle book. I can’t type either, but that’s nothing new.
So I’m going back now to spend more time with Cassie, and while I’m here I’m flying up to San Francisco to meet a guy about a job. This job would involve me moving to San Francisco to live. Long term. It would mean packing my life, sticking some of it on a pallet, and shipping it weeks away. I would rent my flat in London out to a young professional couple who want to enhance that segment of Tooting’s demographic.
So am I moving to be with Cassie? Yes, partly. To be more accurate, we want to check if we want to be together. Seems a bit drastic for something uncertain. That is, I’m certain I want to be with her. It’s taken on a life of its own now, really. Lots of momentum, if that’s the word.
Turbulence really hotting up now.
Some people say inertia when they mean momentum, but I’m not sure momentum is the right word either. Kinetic energy? That’s potential, isn’t it?
My Mum hated flying. She would be crying right about now. She once got some Valium to knock her out before a flight. She took it before boarding, then the plane was delayed by 7 hours, during which time she was conked out on a plastic bench in the airport. She came around just in time to board and fly. Poor thing.
I’ll be seeing Cassie’s parents again this time. Dinner. They’re very nice. Cassie said it’s a shame that she and her parents will never meet mine, and I agree. I’ll have to get Simon and Jacquie and their families over there. We’re also seeing Don,Â Cassie’s brother, and his family. Also very nice. Christmas with them was great. Three cute nephews.
Am I ready to make this change, this move? Who knows. I’m financially and physically ready. I’m able and capable. I’m inclined and encouraged. I’m more than inclined, I’m positively hopping to get there. Suck it and see I guess. Nothing that can’t be undone. To trot out the joke I’ve been boring everyone with, if things with Cassie don’t work out, the ratio of straight guys to straight girls in SF is well in my favour (me being a straight guy).
The turbulence has settled, I’m going to nap.