I have, in my possession, a lifesize cardboard cutout of myself wearing a tuxedo and striking a gameshow-host pose. It dates back to the Raw Theatre tournament I hosted in summer 2003, which ran over six Saturdays, one of which I was on holiday, so they replaced me with a cutout. The producers (Aubs and James) then did all the hosting (which they excelled at) and my opening musical numbers (ahem – least said, soonest mended).
This cutout (picture pending) is made of that artboard stuff, with foam between layers of card, with colour inkjet printouts pasted onto it in a mosaic. Crude, but effective, even if you discount the bizarre foreshortening of the legs which has occurred. I’m not complaining though – Julia did a great job, nearly getting sacked for building it her office, and using office Pritt Stick.
After the run finished the cutout was signed by the teams and the crew, and given to me (to carry home). Now it’s cluttering up the flat, so I need suggestions as to what to do with it. I feel it needs a spectacular send-off.
So I posted a Curious George question on Monkeyfilter, to see what ideas people had. The response was stupendous. The ideas seem to be split between spectacular destruction (documented of course), bizarre profit-making schemes (thanks Capt Renault), and various suggestions on how to get away with illegal acts. Now I just need to decide which I’m going to do. Rest assured, dear reader (singular), it will all be documented here. Of course, if you have any ideas, feel free to contact me. The best suggestions will be posted here.
I just want to do something with it. To be honest, it’s beginning to freak me out. Wait a minute, there’s someone tapping at the study door. I thought Mairi was out…