After Show Party Sonnetry

At the Carlton’s after show parties, we do a secret-santa-style oscars ceremony, with each gift accompanied by a poem. I was digging through some old papers the other day and found this, the poem written for me after I played Benedick in ‘Much Ado About Nothing’. You can see the sort of level we operate at.

NB. the ‘Slippery Nipples’ in question were consumed at a post-dress-rehearsal piss-up. Just so you know.

Shall I compare thee to Olivier?

Thou art more luvvie and intemperate.

From cynic to lover, so easily swayed,

Its the fastest U-turn, I’d like to bet.

Your sword is blunt, but only so with maids.

The company of men you do prefer

cos there your privates are often on parade.

But at the last you do end up with her

And so conclude that mans a giddy thing

(Especially when consuming Slippery Nipples)

With just Beatrice getting to see your ring,

Unless of course you ever fancy a triple.