Yearly Archives: 2005

Christmas Rapping

Ho ho ho, ho ho
Ho ho ho, ho ho
Ho ho ho, ho ho
Ho ho ho, ho ho
Yo when I step up in the place you know I step correc’
Wooha! Got Yule in check
Got that egg nog shit that make you break yo’ neck
Wooha! Got Yule in check
You know we come down to wreck the chimney stack
Wooha! Got Yule in check
Raise up cups of Christmas cheer don’t ever disrespec’
Wooha! Got Yule in check

Apologies to Busta Rhymes and everyone else in the world. From an original idea/SMS by G Wilson, dogg.

Peace Out On Earth, Good Will To All You Muthaphuckas.

I rock, apparently

I don’t know, you do someone a favour and they describe you as

“…the bastard child of Kiss and Rammstein.”

…meant as a complement, I assume. Can’t say fairer than that.

Oh, The Weather Outside Is Slightly Rainy…

I just had a very nice Christmassy weekend altogether. Saturday afternoon saw me trekking to Stoke Newington to see Mags and Gren and their new acquisition, sorry, arrival, Art, who’s now 4 weeks old, and looks it. Tiny little thing, swaddled up in a highly cool
THX1138 / Logan’s Run-style tunic and cap. Ran into Robin on the way, hardly a coincidence because he was going to Stoke Newington to see them too. You can hardly miss Robin on a tube escalator from the back.

We had a chaotic and very tasty lunch in the bustling Blue Legume on Church Street. I had a delicious sausage breakfast which came with salad for some reason, and we shared a lemon cheesecake which the table next to us were given because their order was wrong, and which they didn’t want. Yum.

After that we popped into Fresh and Wild for some organic coffee. I was going to link to their website, but I’ll spare you the pain of a million DHTML error messages and myriad dead images. Good coffee though.

Latte in hand, we went along the road to Abney Park Cemetery, where a friend of Gren and Mags was leading a trio of musicians (him on guitar, accompanied by clarinet (I think) and brushed snare drum) and a choir made up of his book club in singing some Christmas carols. As we approached, he told us there were extra song sheets available, and he forced us to join in. Robin feigned reluctance, but I couldn’t stop myself, and so we sang along with some standards, to rapturous applause. Sadly the hip flask I spotted never made it to our side of the group.

To remedy this lack of hard spirits, we headed to a hostelry, via the historic depths of the cemetery. I took a few photos of the jumbled-up headstones – atmospheric. Some very ornate columns, celtic crosses, angels and all sorts. Very ostentatious.

Emerging from the tangled ivy of the boneyard, we popped into a toy shop so new dad Gren could indulge his child with the fripperies of modern consumerism, i.e. a coloured rattle. Coloured! I ask you.

And finally, a glass of Maker’s Mark with ‘lots of rocks’, a squidgy leather armchair, and MAN TALK. Mags had long since nipped off for some GIRL TALK. A splendid seasonal Saturday, and Sunday was just as good – watch this space.

Carlton Panto 2005

Last Saturday saw the final version of the 2005 Carlton Panto/Nativity/Travesty performed at the Carlton Dramatic Society Christmas party. The full script is available here. It was written by my friend Kristen and I and was based on the ideas and input of this guy, and many other people, especially the cast.

I do a lot of stuff with this bunch, and it’s always fun. Obviously the script as shown in this site bears little, if any, resemblance to what was actually performed on the night, due to the unique talents of the cast, and the extremely short rehearsal time.

But the audience loved it, as they always do. It was a cracking party, with great food, drink, dancing and general seasonal silliness. I gather I tried to do the YMCA dance with a can of lager in my hand. Hmm.

Handy Computer Mouse Cleaning Tips

  • When cleaning the little rollers in your mouse, to get rid of the Nameless Horror that gathers there, do not drop the unfolded paper clip you are using into the guts of the mouse.
  • When trying to extract an unfolded paper clip from the guts of your mouse, do not shake it, as this will only bury it even further in the guts of the mouse.
  • When asking your colleagues if they have a small screwdriver, try not to be surprised that none of them do, even if you work for an engineering firm.
  • When folding a paper clip into a hook to remove another paperclip from the guts of a mouse, do not plunge it into the tip of your finger. Also try not to get smears of blood over the drawings you are working on.
  • Encourage your employers to invest in optical mice.

Art Wilson-Spence born 20 November 2005

Congratulations to Maggie and Gren – hope all three of you are doing well.

Hack Your Life To Pieces

Hello Lifehackers!

Lifehacker is a cool blog with lots of hints and top tips for doing stuff more efficiently. It often uses computers or PDAs, but not always. There’s a lot of Productivity pr0n as well. I submitted a tip a few days ago…

If you have a situation where you create a new file every day, or week, or month, and you include the date in the filename, be clever when you name them. Don’t use the format ‘Weekly Report wc 7th November 2005’ – this gets confusing the more files you have. Naming them something like ‘Weekly Report wc20051107.doc’, ‘Weekly Report wc20051114.doc’ etc. means that when you sort the files by ascending alphabetical order, they are also in ascending date order. No more searching through a long list of files for the one you want, and the dates are still readable. Add spaces if you want (‘Weekly Report wc 2005 11 14.doc’), it still works. Note that the date must be at the end of the filename.

As a result of the tip, I’ve been given a comments invitation for the Lifehacker blog, which allows me to make facetious comments about the new Moleskine A0-sized notebook. It also allows me to make facetious comments on any of the other Gawker blogs, like Jalopnik, Wonkette, Gizmodo and erm, Fleshbot. Watch out for me! I’ll be the one not really understanding the posts, cos I live in the UK! Huzzah!

Julia Boggio Photography – Advertisement Feature

This is a bit of an advert for a friend, Julia Boggio, who has set up a photography business.

Julia has been a keen amateur for a long time, despite some major setbacks while travelling, but now she’s taken the plunge and quit the day job, strapped a Lowepro to her back, grabbed her [insert expensive camera here] and is now accepting commissions.

Her website has portfolio galleries of examples, including a gallery of Portraits, divided into Little People, Big People and Furry People. The latter is currently a bit empty – which is where I come in. Julia has offered to do a shoot of Shuggie gratis, so she can put them up on her site. Fame!

This is cool. Julia gets some great pictures for her portfolio, and we get some great pictures to put in frames and show to people. We need to figure out a date, but it’ll be soon. I’ll keep you posted.

[edit: never happened]

New ‘Grey’ Photos Available

I’ve added some snapshots from the independent theatre production I was involved in, in late 2002. See them here. How young we all looked…

In case you’re wondering, the play was set backstage, hence the darkness and the mess, and the air of thinly-concealed terror that pervades most backstage areas.

Review Of A New Spork

Inspired by this post, guest drivel-merchant Katy hereby reviews a spork…

I’m actually road testing a spork right now! It’s what Marks & Spencers have switched to instead of the razor sharp fork they previously offered. And here is my review (used with Chicken & Mushroom Risotto)…

Admittedly it looks really cool, and would do well on the forth plinth in Trafalgar square, but as a utensil, it’s frankly rubbish.

Ok, so it picks up rice ok, but it’s too bowl shaped to get your mouth around it enough to eat it all. You end up talking the spork out of your mouth again with lots still on it (or in it) like you get when you feed a reluctant baby with baby food. Nobody wants to see that with someone my age. I suppose you could lick it off with your tongue like a lolly, but despite sounding fun, is again not pretty.

It also does that weird thing with your mouth like when you eat cereal with a soup spoon because you can’t be bothered to wash up and it’s all you have left. And as for picking up chunks of chicken – forget it. The prongs are too stubby. You can poke at it but you can’t pick it up. Instead you are forced to balance it on the lip of the spork ‘bowl’ and attempt to hold it there as it makes the journey to your mouth. You can imagine the calamity that frequently ensues.

So I’m sorry Sporky, much as I am not against mutant utensils, indeed I find the cork screw / bottle openers (or scrootle opener perhaps) most pleasing, I don’t think I’ll be consigning Spoony or Forky to the museum just yet.

Maybe spoons and forks are a metaphor for life after all – Be an individual – you work better that way.

So there you have it. Marks and Spencer are continuing to follow their own self-destructive course, emulating the BBC in their ideology, “If it ain’t broke, let’s break it”.