I was getting the train home the other day, waiting at Kings Cross Thameslink, watching the mice on the tracks. The train I wanted was delayed by about 20 minutes. Oh well. When it arrived, everyone squeezes on, but I manage to get a seat. We trundle off to Farringdon, then we sit there for 15 minutes. Then comes the announcement.
“Due to a technical problem, this train is now out of service. Please de-train”
Chiz moan drone. Everybody piles out again, and waits on the platform.
Now, this all sounds pretty annoying, and it was, but hey, it’s pretty rare, and it wasn’t too chilly. No, the bit that really got to me was the series of banal platitudes spewing forth from the mouth of the man, sorry, git standing next to me.
Here are some gems from this modern comic genius:
- “I could have walked home by now”
- When the defective train moved out of the station to make room for the next one – “It looks alright to me!”
- The announcer repeated the message, “Due to a technical problem…” he said “What sort of technical problem! If you were more specific, I’d be happier!”. O would you. Would you understand what it meant? Do you think they are lying about there being a fault? You bloody cretin.
OK, we’re all a bit pissed off with the situation, but for the love of all things holy, SHUT the FUCK UP.
So anyway. After a few more of these gems, I muttered, “Jesus” under my breath. His female companion looked at me sharply. It would appear these comments were supposed to be for her – so why he used his braying knowall voice I don’t know.
Next train arrived, squeezed on, got a corner seat, dozed off, home. Tada.
Hmm. This blog is turning into a mixture of grumpiness, moaning and crappy reviews. But don’t worry, boppers, all will change soon, because I’m getting involved in some more theatre stuff, so that will give me lots of juicy angst and stress to vent forth about. Keep watching the skies.